Jeanne d'Arc and the modern witches

Two Sundays ago I attended an event that I got invited to with The Cosmic Club. It was a wild woman embodiment workshop and it was absolutely divine. It was heart opening, healing and warming. I felt free and now I feel the need to say a few things about that. 

I'm a sucker for vulnerability so let's go!

On August 17th I went to a women’s circle hosted by my friend Ella. We did a heart opening practice, we danced and we shared. During my heart opening moment I felt like I was bursting out into the cosmos. I saw myself explode. The build up towards this moment was of a memory where me and a friend were sitting on a terrace and her telling me that I’m afraid of my own potential. My ego woke up straight away, I did not like her saying this. But as time past and as I got to know her a little bit better I saw that maybe, just maybe, she was right. 

And as my heart bursted open I heard myself say “she is right and it ends here.” I’m done being afraid. I’m not afraid of my own potential. 

When I got home after the ceremony I received a phone call that said friend had passed away.

I got slapped in the face with mortality.

During the circle I also had a visit of Jeanne d’Arc. Like my close friend R had before me. And Jeanne stood there next to me as I was laying on a rock near a waterfall in a white satin nightgown, heart open, eyes closed. Raw. She told me that there was nothing to be afraid of, I was safe. She told me I didn’t have to fight. The fight was over. 

I have this conversation a lot with R. When I’m with her, there is no competition. Not even subconsciously. And we discuss it a lot. We don’t have to fight and we’re happy. It gives a sense of relieve. 

Maybe Jeanne d’Arc telling me this is a way of my friend moving through me, me learning from her, getting insights from a woman that is just pure in my life. No judgement, just safety. Or maybe we are learning the same lessons at the same time and is that what makes our bond so special. 

Coming back to this embodiment workshop. We drank cacao, we danced, we looked each other in the eyes and during my cacao journey I saw what I had to do. I am here to serve women, to take care of women. I am here to live, fully, abundantly. Without fear. 

I’m here to break the cycle. And as much as I’m happy. Happy that I’m safe enough to practice my craft, to work with herbs, with the divine, even to be in a circle with other women. I have this deep understanding that the women who came before us were not able to do this. Jeanne did what she had to do. What she KNEW she had to do. She was a saint and got punished in the brutal way that we all know and some of us might still feel. I have always felt a strong connection to her. So strong that my parents took me to her statue. An experience that shaped me. We looked at the statue, I felt her, I paid my respect and that night as we were having dinner at a terrace we had a view of rats running around. The things that leave their mark you when you're young.. 

Many more women have been punished. Most of them for just being a women. 

Eternally grateful I am to be here in this day and age and I feel honored to live the way I do. I wouldn’t know where I would be if it wasn’t for my craft. The realization that some of our sisters can not live the way they want haunts me. Because it still happens. Feminism is not near reached and we need to stand together, unite. We need to learn, educate ourselves and others. We need to listen. And like my friend R says: we need to come with love. 

So I thank all the women that walk besides me today but also the ones that came before us. I want to take a few minutes to think about the women that are not able to live today and I will express extreme gratitude for my life. I will not take my freedom for granted. 

I will live for every woman. For A that has lost her life too soon. A life that was so full because she made it that. I will live and be brave for Jeanne. I will live and heal for my grandmother, my mother but also my future daughter. I will continue to learn how to hold space and create a safe space for all of us, for our sisterhood. 

And I’m hoping that every modern witch will acknowledge how blessed we are to be able to do this and how privileged. It’s still not normal and safe for everyone and I believe that healing of ourselves and of the world beings with listening, acknowledging and loving.

Buy your ticket with love - thank you to one of my muses Rachella.